Where Did I Go Wrong?
by Forbidden Kiss
Summary: In the aftermath of Denny's death, Alex shows Izzie that he really does have a softer side...and a secret no one knows.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, i just envy them.

The whole way home everyone remained quite, even Alex Karev said nothing.

Izzie Stevens who sat in the middle between Alex and George O'Malley stared straight ahead. Meredith Grey drove while Cristina Yang rode shotgun.

To Cristina the ride seemed to take forever, she wasn't an emotional person and everyone in the cars emotions were running high, to her she was in hell.

Meredith kept looking in her mirror to see if there was any change in Izzie…there never was.

George just stared out the window looking at everything that went by.

Alex was almost as bad as Cristina was when it came to showing compassion. About five minutes into the ride Alex reached over and held Izzie's trembling hand.

She squeezed his with both of hers and he did the same.

When they got to the house Alex helped Izzie out of the car while George ran to the door to quickly unlock it before Izzie got there.

As soon as Izzie walked in she stopped in the hallway as if she didn't know where to go.

"I'm gonna take her upstairs." Alex said grabbing her shoulders and guiding her to the stairs, to him she was catatonic even after she was in her room and he closed the door.

"Let's take this dress off ok?" he waited for a response but didn't get one. He undid the hook and zippers letting the gown fall to the floor. "Come on how about a bath, it may help you feel better." He grabbed both a towel and a bathrobe that was sitting on a chair next to the door. He put the robe around her shoulders before they left the room.

Alex started the water while there was still no change in Izzie. After a few minutes the tub was full of steaming water.

"Ok, we got a nice hot bath for you to relax in." He spoke as he took the robe off and unhooked her bra and pulled off her panties, taking her hand he helped her over the edge and she sat down still looking ahead.

Alex sat and leaned against the tub stretching his legs out.

"Izzie, I just want to apologize for all I said about Denny." Izzie's eyes welled. "I guess- I guess I was just jealous." He turned to look at her showing his sincerity. The only difference was the fresh tears running down her cheeks. Facing away from her again he continued his one-sided conversation with the Izzie shaped wall. "It wasn't your fault." He had hoped she would say something after that but still didn't.

"We're doctors." She finally spoke. "We're supposed to walk out of that room and tell their families that we saved their loved ones. We're supposed to save them."

"Not everyone can be saved Iz." Alex informed her as he turned around to face her.

"Well they should be…other wise what the hell are we doing?"

"I don't know." And he truly didn't.

"How many criminals do we see come in with life threatening injuries and their fine? But the good people, the people like Denny die, the people who deserve to live."

"We can't pick and choose who we can save, and that's not fair but it's the way it is."

"My mom was right, I'm not cut out to be a doctor, I just can't handle it."

"Your mom actually said that?" Alex looked shocked.

"I could always go back to modeling. I was good at that."

"Izzie, as much as I'd love to see you in your underwear you're just, you're made to do greater things… like save people, even though you couldn't Denny. You promise not to tell anyone if I tell you my secret?"

"Yeah." She still stared at the tile on the shower.

"You saved me, did you know that? When I was studying for my boards alls I kept thinking about was if I don't pass this, I'll never get to work with Izzie Stevens again."

"Now you're just trying to cheer me up."

"No, I'm not, I really, I just wanted to see you, and be with you, even if it wasn't like it was before. You were the one thing that kept me going. Just remember that even if you didn't save Denny…you did save me."

Izzie turned to look at him but he was just a blur from the tears in her eyes. "Thank you." She simply said, and for the first time since she walked into Denny's room and saw him staring at the ceiling she felt as if she wasn't alone in the world.

"No, Izzie Stevens, thank you."


End file.
